Ford Canada’s president, David Mondragon, has the right idea, sort of. He’s been lobbying Ottawa hard to get help for the auto industry. But rather than throwing money directly at the manufacturers, he’s suggesting they throw some at owners of older vehicles. And why not? It seems to be working, for now, in Germany. There, you can scrap your old car and get 2500 Euros. That’s about $4000CAD and change, substantially more than Canada’s paltry $300 to scrap an older car. In BC, the pot is a little sweeter, where the provincial government offers $2250 to scrap ’95 and older models. Mondragon is suggesting at least $3500 for ’98 and older models. And he’s right, it will take that kind of coin to make me even think about parting with my perfectly functional ’98 Ford Windstar.

I don’t want to rain on the parade, but if I could point out just a couple of little problems I’m having with the idea. First, is it really a good time to be encouraging us average consumer types to take on more debt? I don’t have the other $20K+ that I would need for a new vehicle, so I’d have to borrow the rest. Hyundai and others are now offering insurance to cover your payments for a while if you lose your job, which is a great idea and will be somewhat successful at getting people into showrooms. But when gas prices head up again this summer, will the Detroit 3 still have showrooms full of SUVs? Second, well Ford don’t make a minivan anymore and I like minivans, and as the industry hasn’t introduced a hybrid or clean diesel or PZEV minivan to North America, well, what would I buy anyway?

However, if you’ve got the cash (and you like minivans), there are some screaming deals to be had. Pontiac and Dodge minivans are kicking in $7000-plus, landing a new minivan for $18,000. That’s a deal, for sure. Oh, except, GM (Pontiac) and Chrysler (Dodge) may not be around much longer, certainly not in their present form, and what of all the companies who make parts for them? Oh well, seems like another reason to sit this dance out.

I took the bus home yesterday from work. While I was waiting, I watched cars go by. I noticed that some drivers were talking on their cell phones as they drove. I wondered how many drivers do that during the evening rush hour, so I thought I’d see how many cars I could count going by until I counted a car with a driver on the phone. How high do you think I counted? Up to 20? Maybe only up to 10? I’ll tell you, I never got past 6. Sometimes I only got up to 1. In a 15 minute span, it turned out that about 1 of every 3 or 4 drivers was talking on the phone. That’s 25%-33% of every driver I saw. Now that’s good news if you’re in the business of selling cell phones, I guess. Or maybe if you own a body shop, as studies have shown drivers who talk on a phone and drive are dangerous. In fact, they can be more dangerous than drunk drivers!

Granted, my little survey was not very scientific – but man, that seems like a lot of distracted drivers. And speaking as a regular bicycle commuter, let me tell all you talk ‘n drive jockeys out there something. YOU’RE NOT AS GOOD A DRIVER AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. There, I’ve said it. So put your hands on the wheel, and your eyes upon the road (and every 5 seconds your rear view mirror), please! Shut up and drive.

Canadians voted to move our country forward, if you believe what PM Stephen Harper says after the election on Oct. 14. He’s back in the big chair, running the show. I don’t know if he has any close friends who tell it like it is – those kinds of friends are good to have around you now and then. Just in case he doesn’t, let me volunteer (if not to be a friend, then at least to tell it like it is).

Stephen (I’m guessing you don’t like “Steve” or “Stevie”), seriously man, the fact is a heck of a lot of Canadians didn’t even bother to vote, and the ones that did were not voting to “move our country forward”. I think you need a little help interpreting the results, so here goes.

A lot of voters would have voted Liberal, except for a few things:
1. They’re still mad about the sponsorship scandal, and figure there’s probably more dirty laundry that we may never even get to see. Let’s just say the Liberals’ trust account is still in the red.
2. Mr. Dion is not so good in the English, which is what more of us speak more of. It’s not a deal breaker, but it’s another little tick in the “no, not them again, at least not yet” box.
3. We don’t really know if they have much of a plan, except more of what they did before, which kind of reminds us again of how some of us are sore about point #1.
4. They were a wimpy self-serving opposition, complaining about everything Mr. Harper was doing (I won’t mention his party, because it seems to be his show alone) but choking it down, confidence vote after confidence vote, because they knew they couldn’t win an election. So thanks for standing up for…yourselves, Liberals.

More voters went to the NDP:
1. Because they still are mad at the Liberals and couldn’t face voting Conservative.

Voters went to the Bloc:
1. Parce que je me souviens

Voters went to the Green Party:
1. Because it’s a privilege and a responsibility to vote, and you’re not going to vote Liberal, yet (see above), Conservative (carbon schmarbon), NDP (saving that vote for the Liberals one day), and the Bloc (most of us don’t live in Quebec), so who else you gonna vote for?

So PM Harper, that’s how I see it. Too bad your government has the bench strength of the Maple Leafs during flu season. Guess you’ll have to keep doing it all yourself. It must be hard work keeping the wingiest of your party’s wingnuts muzzled, but hopefully you’ll still have some time left to do something meaningful for us (no, dropping the GST to 5% doesn’t count). And for Christmas, if you’re feeling generous, I’d like clean air, safe food, funding for clean energy projects and research, and finally, commit .7% of the GDP to aid for the world’s poorest nations. It’s the right thing to do, which hopefully means it’s the Canadian thing to do.

If you like Oasis, you’ll like Dig Out Your Soul. If you’ve never liked Oasis, well, there’s not much here to change your mind. This album finds the band pulling out all the usual Oasis sonic cues – distorted guitars, feedback, noise, chunky piano chording and lots of melodic hooks. On this outing, the band goes for a less dense sound than usual. Make no mistake, there’s still lots of arena-ready rock ‘n roll, but the audio quality seems a little cleaner, with more definition. Liam’s voice is less raspy on a lot of the numbers, and it’s not a bad thing.

The band stretches just a little, with some interesting harmonies and a few unexpected chord changes here and there. As usual, there are lots of tips of the hat to the Beatles. Zak Starkey gets a little space for a drum solo on the new classic ‘Shock of the Lightning’, ever so slightly reminiscent of Ringo’s moment on Abbey Road. On ‘I’m Outta Time’, Liam takes another swing at writing a Lennonesque piano ballad, like ‘Born on a Different Cloud’. This song has a stronger melody and a self assured, but not cocky, vocal delivery. Nice one. John Lennon’s voice makes a guest appearance in the background from an old interview.

More Beatles influence shows up on ‘To Be Where There’s Life’, with droning Indian instruments, and a melody lifted straight from another Liverpool band, The La’s (check out ‘Son of a Gun’). ‘The Nature of Reality’ starts off to make you think they’re about to launch into Helter Skelter, just for a second, before it detours.

If there’s any disappointment for Oasis fans here, it might just be in the lyrics, which occasionally feel lazy. How many songs have they done that mention “in my mind”, “peace of mind”, or “come in, come out”? But still, it’s another highly listenable album and Oasis fans will dig into their wallets to dig out their soul.

Because they’ve just pulled off the biggest theft in history, in broad daylight, that’s why. It must feel great giving away other people’s money to people who went and blew all the money they’d been given to look after previously. I seem to remember a story as a kid about the ant and the cricket, you know, how the ant scrimped and saved while the cricket lived for the day? Well, the crickets won this round, because the ants are going to pay.

Don’t think I don’t support some kind of bailout – it has to happen, absolutely. Most of the money in our economy doesn’t come from the mint. New money is mostly created as debt. Every time someone sits down and signs for a loan, a few keystrokes later, that money has been created. But if banks won’t even lend to each other, no one wants to be on the hook to create new debt if they can’t count on anyone to cover it. And in our society, no credit means no nothing. If you had to pay cash, starting tomorrow, for everything, could you do it? Me neither. Add to that the idea that your cash could become worth less each day, too, and see how that feels. So we take the hit now because the pain will be a lot worse if we don’t.

I think the main thing that really kills most of us about this whole mess is the fact that in the end, very few individuals will be held accountable. I expect the FBI and whoever else can investigate all they want, and the fact is most of the people who created the mess weren’t breaking the law. It’s just that things got deregulated to a point where they could get away with this kind of precarious banking and investing. And they got big bonuses when it worked out and a taxpayer-funded bailout when it didn’t. No consequences, really. You broke your bike? Sugar daddy here will just have to buy you a new one, because heaven forbid you should have to walk around like the rest of us.

I wrote some tunes for the Hockey Night in Canada theme contest. The most fun one is this hockey hooligan chant. It’s called “My Team’s Better Than Your Team“, ’cause that’s really what pro sport is all about, eh?

Price. Quality. Service. Pick any two. That’s the formula we’re told to expect when we go shopping. If you want the best price, be prepared to sacrifice on either quality or service. If you want the best quality, it will probably include good service but you’ll have to be prepared to spend more.

I decided our home computer could benefit from more RAM. It came with 512Mb, and I had upgraded it recently by adding another 512Mb, which I bought at my local Staples store. It cost around $60, and I installed it myself, thanks to the excellent online support documentation and instructional videos from HP. The computer’s performance was noticeably enhanced, so when I got a few more bucks together I headed back down to Staples to buy another 1Gb of RAM to top it up to its’ full capacity, 2Gb. When I got to Staples I couldn’t remember exactly what kind of RAM I needed. Naturally there are several types. The sales associate tried to help me out, but I simply couldn’t remember enough information. He said I could buy the RAM and if it wasn’t right, as long as I hadn’t opened the package, I could return it ($130). Problem is, I don’t live near Staples, and it’s not on a bus route, so when I could get back there was hard to guess. I left the store without the RAM, and when I got home I wrote down all the info I needed to get the right RAM.

No problem, on a coffee break at work I went online to search for other local suppliers. If they’re on the internet, I couldn’t find them. Try searching for something like “Kelowna add ram to my computer” and not a single local dealer appears in the top 30 search results, although dealers from Alberta and Ontario do. OK, never mind. I remembered that Northern Computer has a store near me. I looked up their number and gave them a call. I was told all their sales people were busy. They could call me back. I said no thanks. Probably just as well. At the last place I worked, we bought new hard drives from them. Unfortunately for them, they were for a computer networkd security class. The students quickly uncovered the “new” drives we had bought were used, because there was another company’s data buried in the drives. Not cool. Next, I phoned London Drugs. I got transferred to the computer department, and after several minutes on hold, I disconnected. If you’ve seen any London Drugs TV ads lately, you’ve probably seen our friend Melanie Bray. She’s a terrific actor. Hi Mel! Anyway, my Telus mobility plan is not exactly cheap, so I’m not going to stay on hold forever.

So I wasn’t feeling the love from my local dealers, at least the ones I could actually find or remember. I gave up on Kelowna and searched Canada. I quickly found a store in Ontario that had several choices of what I was looking for, and in stock, too. I’d never heard of them, but I’m a 21st century guy, so I typed in my credit card info and ordered it. They shipped it by Purolator. Of course I wasn’t at home when it arrived so they left a note that I could pick it up at their Kelowna depot. Their hours? 9-5, naturally. At least they’re open 10-4 on Saturday. So Saturday I picked up my RAM, got it installed and voila, all is good. The 1Gb came halfway across the country for $60, including shipping. Even with picking it up at the depot, the whole experience was quicker than trying to get it locally, and cost half as much.

The Kelowna dealers couldn’t give me 2 out of 3, or even 1 out of 3. Shopping online, 3 out of 3. Guess who I call next time?

Today I was reading a company’s description of the services they provide, and I found that I had no idea what they were talking about. Now that might be OK if they were providing something to do with, say, theoretical physics, in which case I’d be interested but would have to just nod my head politely and hope they said a word or two I could hang on to. But these guys, once I dug further to find out what they were about, were in business to help other businesses get clients. They existed to help your marketing department. My business also exists to help your marketing department, but I hope when I tell people what I can offer they get it, and fast.

What this company was doing was talking to themselves. They had a lot of jargon on their web site; jargon that I had to look up elsewhere to figure out what they were getting at. Maybe they were also talking to people who already knew all about what they offered and why they needed it, and if that’s true, then fair play to them. I will, however, humbly suggest that if they hope to attract new clients themselves, they might want to reconsider their approach. If you tell somebody what you can do for them, and it takes more than 30 seconds, you’d better be offering something no one can refuse. If not, they’ll just nod politely and move on.

Your mind’s made up? Let’s go shopping.

You may have considered the idea of cycle commuting to work, and if you haven’t tried it before, or don’t ride a lot, the whole idea probably raises a lot of questions in your mind. I think there are lots of articles that you can read that suggest the long list of health and wealth benefits of commuting by bicycle, so I’m not going to get into that. You have your own reasons if you’re even contemplating this. But here are some key areas you’ll want to consider to get yourself ready:
- A bike. You’ll need one of those for sure.
- A helmet. The bad news, most of them look dorky and make the person wearing them look even dorkier. The good news, in many jurisdictions they’re required by law, so at least we can all look dorky together.
- Clothes and accessories. You don’t need a lot of special stuff to get started, though I wholeheartedly recommend bike gloves. You’ll know why if you ever take a spill, or that is, an “unscheduled dismount”.
- Your physical condition. I’ve seen people smoking as they ride, but come on. That just makes you look like you’re riding because you’ve had your driver’s license suspended.

BIKES
There are lots of types of bikes to choose from. Consider the terrain, and notice what other cyclists are riding. After riding over the Knight St. Bridge on my 10-speed, I decided to go with something different. Riding on the sidewalk over that bridge, I have ridden over or around:
- a ladder
- kitchen cabinets
- buckets
- work gloves
- 2×4’s (usually with nails sticking out)
- plywood
- panelling
- nails
- more nails
- assorted car parts
- lots of loose sand
And on a rainy day in Vancouver, the water collected at the southwest end of the sidewalk as you came off the bridge such that the pathway disappeared under water, and I would ride through this mess (which for some reason often had chunks of Styrofoam floating in it) with the water coming up past the bottom of the chain and bike frame. Wet feet kind of went with the territory. I decided a mountain bike with knobby tires was what I needed. These days I ride a “comfort” or hybrid bike, a Gary Fisher Capitola. The seating position on my old hardtail Specialized Rock Hopper II was causing some numbness in the fingers, and in Kelowna the riding I do is generally much flatter than Vancouver, so a more upright seating position is OK.

HELMET
I recommend getting one with a visor. It doesn’t help much, but it looks slightly cooler. Don’t buy a used one. It may have damage you can’t see, and this piece of gear could mean the difference between a happy, healthy future and you spending your life answering every question with “I’m an excellent driver”. Seriously, don’t leave home without it.

CLOTHES and ACCESSORIES
OK, first the clothes. If you’re like me and your cycle commute takes more than fifteen minutes, you will probably be much more comfortable riding your bike in riding clothes and then changing when you arrive at work. Where I worked didn’t have a shower, but I was able to leave a clothes bag there. My clothes bag included:
- two or three shirts
- two pairs of pants, one belt
- one or two pairs of socks
- underwear
- one pair of shoes
- Ziploc bag with soap and deodorant
- one towel
My riding clothes evolved and changed with the weather. Basically, layers are your friends. The toughest time to dress right was winter-to-spring and fall-to-winter, because the riding conditions in the morning can be much different than at the end of the day. Eventually my clothing arsenal included:
- padded baggy cycling shorts, worn over either plain cycling shorts or lined tights, waterproof over-pants
- slim running shoes, sport or thermal socks
- long or short-sleeved T-shirts, fleece vest, sweater, neon-green riding jacket, scarf, fleece skullcap, safety vest
- full-fingered riding gloves, as well as open finger style gloves
- goggles, plain and tinted

As for accessories, my bike evolved into a full-on commuter-mobile:
- fenders fore and aft
- panniers. I ditched the backpack because it was hard on my back and I sweated like crazy underneath it.
- lights fore and aft
- air pump
- spare inner tube (note, I used to carry a patch kit, but I got a few flats on the bridge, and the noise from the traffic was so loud you couldn’t possibly hear where the air was escaping to make a repair, so the solution was to simply rip out the tube and replace it so you could patch it later)
- 25 cents to make a phone call for help if I had a major mechanical problem
- latex gloves, for putting the chain back on without getting all greasy
- small bicycle tool kit
- bike bell (ding, ding)
- toe clips
- Kevlar liners, to fit between the inner wall of the tires and the outer walls of the tubes. These were a great investment and drastically reduced the number of flats I got riding across the bridge.
The idea was to be self-sufficient if I had a minor mechanical breakdown of some kind. I got great info off the internet about how to change a tire and replace an inner tube, and I tried it at home so I knew how to do it.

PHYSICAL CONDITION
I didn’t have much going on in that department when I started, but after a couple of seasons of riding from one to five days a week, I developed some definite muscle tone. It feels great to ride, your body will enjoy it, trust me. The other big benefit for me was that when I ride, I have to be totally in the moment. When you drive a car, sometimes we arrive at our destination and we don’t even remember parts of the journey because we were thinking about other things. Riding a bike, you’re focused on staying upright and not being killed, so there’s not much of a chance to let your mind wander. And being in the moment for a full half-hour stretch or whatever your commute takes is a real refreshing exercise for most of us.

So let me sum it up—if you think commuting by bike is really hard, I’m here to tell you it may not be as hard as you think. If you plan for it, do a little research, and take little steps and set modest goals, you can do it. No one ever accused me of being a jock before I started cycle commuting (or since), and there is definitely a sense of accomplishment when you realize you are helping yourself, your community, and the planet. If more of us can manage to ride even a few days a month, it does make a difference.